Friday, 3 March 2017

My experience with Bullies!

Today's post is quite a personal one about a topic which affects hundreds thousands of people all over the world. Bullying is something which affects millions of people daily and is something that the majority of people will experience throughout their lives.

Over 3.2 million school children are victims of bullying and approximately 160,000 students skip school because of it and 1 in 10 students drop out of school because of the affects that bullying has.

I thought I would share with you my experience of bullying and any advice that I gave give to you if yourself or a friend is getting bullied. 

How it started:

It started for me in year 6 of primary school so when I was 10 years old, I was quite a shy child and I had a gap in my teeth which most people didn't which caused them to see me as 'different'. I really struggled with making friends and being 'normal' I always felt like the odd one out and I was that friend who got left out of everything.The girls in my class used to tease me because of my gap in my teeth and how I looked which made me struggle with  low self confidence.

This then carried on at secondary school where the majority of the people who I went to primary school with also went to the same school. Because I lived in a nearby village with all the other children from primary school we caught a school bus there and back. This wasn't an issue for the first year we all got along and made new friends in our tutor groups. In year 8 when I was 12 this started to become an issue again and some days the girls would be fine with me the next they would act as if I wasn't even there and didn't exist to them.

Im the type of person who hates confrontation and arguments and would rather forgive a person 100 times over than speak up to that person about the way they are treating me. They would pick on me for how I looked, how I wore my makeup or how I was telling me things such as 'You're ugly' 'No one will ever love you' 'Get the London look' 'Gappy' all of these things were said by people who were suppose to be my closest friends who would just say it was a joke and to lighten up abit.

At one point before I left that school a girl from the year above pushed me down the stairs because it was funny for her and she didn't like me, I started avoiding certain lessons and sit staring at the same 4 walls in a medical room just to avoid seeing my 'friends'. Most nights I went home crying because of things they had said to me or just purely because I believed that I was ugly. For around a year this went on and I stopped smiling because I didn't want people to know that I had a gap in my teeth incase they thought I was ugly and didn't want to be my friend.

When I got into year 10 I made the decision to move schools and i'm so glad I did because I made some amazing friends who I still am close with now, It took me from year 6 to year 10 to realise that these people were manipulative and were bullies not friends.

No friend should ever make you feel like that, that is not a healthy friendship. Friends are suppose to have a positive impact on your life not a negative one.

Advice:

Tell someone...if you or a friend are getting bullied because it can't get resolved if no one knows! Tell anyone you feel comfortable speaking to whether this is a close friend, a family member or someone who works at your school.

Don't give them what they want... A bully wants a reaction of you, they want you to get upset or angry so don't show them that. Smile at them and laugh it off as hard as that can be it will help. They will soon get bored and move onto the next target.

Its not your fault... Bullies often have low self esteem and confidence issues so to take the focus of them they pick out peoples insecurities and use it against them.

If you are struggling with bullies and have no one to turn to, I keep my inboxes open on twitter and instagram so feel free to message me. I'm always happy to talk and try help as much as I can! I don't want anyone feeling like they have no one to turn too.

I hope you found this helpful in some way and it has given you some helpful advice.

Q- I'd love to know if you have experienced bullying and how you dealt with it?

Tasha
xox


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